Kei Furuichi 12/24/24 Kei Furuichi 12/24/24

I've been meditating wrong for years

Meditation has always been a struggle for me—I’m not going to lie. I always liked the idea of meditation as being part of my self-concept; I identified as someone who meditates, or at least likes the idea of meditation, because in all honesty it didn’t really become a regular practice of mine until quite recently. And although it’s taken me years to become someone who does actually meditate, I have found it to be very beneficial in a variety of ways, some unexpected, and I hope to share my experience here in the hopes that it may help you on your meditation journey.

Being born in Japan, I was exposed to the concept of buddhism at a very young age. Although it’s an integral part of Japanese culture, most Japanese people would probably not identify themselves as especially religious people, and I felt the same. Visiting a Buddhist temple is just something you do, for important life events like funerals, or when visiting a new place when traveling domestically. From studying the world’s major religions in school, I also had an idea of what Buddhism was as a belief system, and I have to say many of my personal beliefs align.

But how am I supposed to incorporate these Buddhist ideals into my everyday life? Do I have to give up all my worldly possessions, become a vegetarian, and relegate the remainder of my life to that of an ascetic? This is my polar extreme opposite way of thinking that I think prevented me from taking smaller, more manageable steps in integrating some Buddhist practices in my daily life. And to be fair, meditation isn’t only a Buddhist practice, but this was my early understanding of it. I liked the badge of claiming it as part of my identity without the hard work of actually practicing.

Things began to change when, as many people in their mid-late 20’s do, I had a quarter-life crisis and moved across the world from New York City back home to Tokyo where I hadn’t lived since I was 8 years old. This transition was simultaneously inspired and spurred on by a deep sense of discontentment that launched me headfirst into a spiritual awakening and journey that I am still on today, and will be for the rest of my life. I discovered that changing my external circumstances without addressing the underlying causes or ways of thinking in myself may lead to momentary cessation of these feelings of lack, but ultimately they will come back.

When I realized that I was the problem, not the place I’m living or the people I’m around or anything else external, I began to consume many books, podcasts, etc. on the topic of self-help, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness, and the like. And with this concept of mindfulness, the practice of meditation kept being brought up over and over again by all the spiritual teachers I was hoping to learn from. So I decided to take another look at what meditation meant for me, and what it could look like.

I had a yoga phase when I first moved to New York, and I have on many occasions reached a blissful flow state where I was extremely present in the moment with my body and my breath, and disconnected from the constant stream of thoughts that usually animate our daily internal monologues. And it felt great. From what the spiritual teachers were describing, this was my closest reference and what I would aim for. But that was much easier said than done.

To get started, I tried a guided meditation app that would gently prompt me to move through a short 5-10minute meditation practice, and it was great! I realized that in a sense, I was trying to meditate all wrong for years, and that’s what defeated my efforts before they really started. Here’s what I learned about meditation, both from the many people I’ve listened to speak on the matter, as well as through my own experience.

Trying to clear your mind is not the purpose of meditation.

This kind of blew my mind. The way Buddhism had been explained to me in school, it was about these monks who devote their lives to trying to reach “enlightenment” which was described as a complete detachment from suffering. The way in which these monks reach enlightenment was through meditation, which is a complete clearing of the mind. But that is the biggest misconception. You may reach a state during meditation in which your mind is clear, but setting out to achieve that as a goal, and judging the outcome as bad when you inevitably find your mind filled with thoughts, will set you up for failure.

The way to truly meditate is to witness the mind without becoming identified with thoughts.

This took a while for the meaning to really sink in. But when you really think about it, the true cause of our suffering is thoughts. Thoughts are stories our minds tell us about reality, about our life, and when reality doesn’t match up with these stories we’ve told ourselves, we feel a sense of unease, discomfort, injustice, inadequacy, self-loathing, and the list goes on. But we can create gaps in these incessant thought spirals by sitting still, quietly, and witnessing these thoughts with our full attention, without believing them. That last part is the most important one.

We don’t have to believe our thoughts just because we’re having them. The point of meditating is to witness these thoughts, acknowledge them, and then let them go without judgement or reaction. And when we can do this on a regular basis, it helps us maintain a bit more presence in our daily lives, and maybe help us make decisions from a place of calm, non-judgement than from our ego minds.

Meditating can bring us more in touch with the universe’s divine energy.

This might be a bit woo woo for some people, but I believe it to be true. I believe that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, but the matter of this physical world is dense. Inhabiting a body in physical space on this earth makes our experiences more concrete and definable, but I also think it limits what we can perceive greatly. In identifying with a physical body, and relating to the world in this way, we rely on what we can hear, touch, see, smell, and taste. But there is so much more out there that is beyond what meets the eye, and only when our minds and bodies are completely still, can we get a taste of that energy.

There’s a saying I like that goes “beyond the clouds there’s always blue skies”. In this metaphor, our mind is the sky and thoughts are clouds. The thoughts are inevitably going to come. But what if we just let them be rather than getting bogged down in them? We can enjoy the blue sky. If we approach our inner relationship with ourselves as a practice of allowing stillness, sitting with ourselves as we are, and making this a integral spiritual practice in our daily life, I believe there’s no challenge we can’t surmount, no obstacle we can’t overcome.

I’m definitely not perfect, so my meditation practice definitely won’t be as well. But what I can say is that the more I meditate, the more I show up for myself to create space, the more in-tune I feel with the universe’s creative energy, and the more at peace I feel within myself. And my only with is that you can experience this for yourself too.

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Kei Furuichi 12/14/24 Kei Furuichi 12/14/24

How spiritual practices changed my life

My path to spirituality came from a place of deep pain and suffering. I’m not going to sugarcoat it—I was having a tough time and not feeling good about myself. But what made these feelings especially difficult to deal with was the fact that there was nothing external that I could point to that was wrong in my life. I was generally in good health, had good relationships with my friends and family, had a decent job and was living a comfortable lifestyle where, although I wouldn’t say I was rich, I did not have to worry about my basic needs being met, and could do the things I wanted to for the most part.

But still, this underlying feeling of discontentment, insecurity, lack of inspiration, and feeling of emptiness persisted no matter what I did. To make things worse, the behaviors I was engaging in to subconsciously try and fill this hole inside myself were actively making the situation worse. The unhealthy foods I was indulging in were deteriorating my health and worsening my own body image, the alcohol and other substances I was using were worsening my anxiety and chipping away at my feeling of self-worth. Even my relationships with the ones I loved, although at many times my saving grace, started to feel at times performative and I could feel myself withdraw.

I knew that if I was every going to be happy, let alone survive, I needed to change my behaviors, and to change my behaviors, I needed to change my way of thinking. This is around the time that I discovered spirituality, and my internal world began to change. From a young age, I think I always knew that there was something more to life than what meets the eye. I can’t point to any specific experiences in childhood that made me believe this, but I think there was a deeper sense of knowing that I gradually lost sight of as I became an adult, and became so deeply engrained in the existence of this physical world.

But as I discovered the world of spirituality, my view of existence began to open up again, and the things that were weighing on my mind didn’t feel as heavy as they once did. I would get momentary glances of what it felt like just to be present, not completely lost in my negative thought patterns, and in a place of calm and stillness. The more media I consumed around health, wellness, and spirituality, the more I became inspired to integrate practices into my daily life in order to maintain this more balanced head space. And this is where my own spiritual practices began to develop and persist to this day.

The first, and probably most accessible, practice that I began to do was journaling. Although it might seem simple, taking a few minutes out of my day to just write down whatever is going on in my head at that moment was huge in allowing me to get some space from my thoughts and see them from a more objective perspective. So much of what is swirling around in our heads at any moment can be amorphous thoughts entangled with emotions, memories, and our own projections on reality, and being constantly in that head space can feel overwhelming. There’s something about forming those thoughts into words and physically writing them down on paper that can clear that mental clutter, and allow you to look back at what you wrote down from a more objective standpoint where you can question what is factually true, what isn’t, what’s helpful, and what’s harmful. Just recognizing some of these patterns in your own thinking can have a transformative affect in creating healthier thought patterns.

The second practice that I’ve integrated into my daily life is meditation. Much like journaling, the practice of meditation allows you some time and space to observe your body and your mind, and ultimately connect to the deeper life force that is animating us all. Meditation can seem difficult at first, as I know I thought it was. Stilling still with my own thoughts seemed like a scary proposition especially after years of suppressing or ignoring how I felt altogether. But the more I was able to not identify with my thoughts, witness them without judging them, and allowing them to pass, the more I was able to find a real sense of calm and a connection to something deeper.

It is my personal view that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, but that there is something about the physical realm that we inhabit once we’re born that is dense in its energetic charge, and its so easy to become so deeply identified with our bodies, our brains, and the thoughts and emotions they produce that can be a mix of cognitive thought and simple animal instinct. For me, the practice of meditation has allowed me to disentangle myself a bit from this deeply entrenched relationship to the physical world and my own thoughts about it, and given me some space where I can just exist in a space of stillness and calm, at one with the divine energy that makes up our reality.

Another spiritual practice that has become more important to me as I’ve delved deeper into my spiritual journey is one that connects me to my culture and my ancestors. Although I wasn’t really raised in any spiritual tradition or subscribe specifically to any one faith even as of now, I was always exposed to Buddhism and Shintoism from a young age being half-Japanese and born in Japan. Even most Japanese people would say they’re not religious, but Buddhist and Shinto practices are so deeply engrained in Japanese culture that they are apart of daily life.

I find great beauty and meaning in these spiritual traditions that my ancestors have practiced for thousands of years, and adopting some of these beliefs and practices in my daily life has helped me feel, not only a deeper connection to my culture, but to this belief that there are sacred things in this life and that we are all connected in this reality. In addition to visiting sacred places like shrines and temples around Japan, I also have a small alter in my home that I pray to every morning.

In the shinto tradition, small wooden amulets that symbolize the gods are placed on an alter, and we make offerings and pray to the alter every morning. This simple habit allows me a brief moment to express gratitude for all the blessings that I have been given in life, as well as to express my hopes and dreams for my future. Although I might not necessarily believe that there are literal gods inhabiting the wooden plaques in my apartment, this practice is a small reminder that this life is special, has meaning, and it’s up to me to bring this meaning and purpose to it. And that makes the experience of daily life a little bit better.

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Kei Furuichi 11/21/24 Kei Furuichi 11/21/24

Jeju: An Island Escape

Korea only being a quick 2 hour flight away from Tokyo, it’s an easy and popular destination for a lot of people that live in Japan. I’ve been to Seoul 3 times, and each time I found myself getting a more nuanced view of what Korea is like beyond what I see in Korean dramas and movies (which I’ve been known to binge from time to time). Having shared a long history (most of it tumultuous) with Japan, there are a lot of similarities between the cultures and the languages. But the more I visit, the more I’ve been able to experience the rich culture, and this time visiting Jeju Island, I got to see another, more relaxed side of South Korea.

I have a group of friends in Tokyo that, like me, really love to eat so we made a dining group that meets around once a month to discover a new restaurant or cuisine that we wouldn’t normally go to. This time, we decided to make a whole international trip out of it. One member of the group is half-Korean and his grandmother was gracious enough to let us stay in her home in Jeju, so we jumped at the opportunity to go for a little escape from Tokyo.

There’s something about visiting Korea that doesn’t even feel like I’m leaving the country it being so close, and this time felt even more so. On a clear day, they say you can see Jeju Island from Kyushu. I always feel a sense of reassurance and ease when I’ve visited Korea, and this time was no different. I think there’s also something about visiting an island destination that immediately puts me in a relaxed state of mind.

Although it was already late October, it was quite warm when we landed. We rented a couple cars and drove from Jeju City to Seogwipo, a smaller city on the opposite side of the island where our accommodations were. My first impression as soon as we got out of the main city was how lush and green the landscape was with winding roads through near mystical forests, and it felt almost enchanted. I was excited for what the week had in store.

We got really lucky with weather on the first day with beautiful sunny blue skies. We walked to our first meal of the day, a family-run blowfish hotpot restaurant. It was delicious, and the waiter was really hot. There’s something about young Korean men, maybe because they’re all required to do military service, but they’re all very fit and take good care of their appearance, or that’s my impression at least.

After lunch, we walked towards the harbor and visited Cheonjiyeon Falls, a beautiful waterfall in the middle of a lush green park. Although it’s walking distance from the main part of the town, it feels like you’re deep in nature, and it was a nice introduction to the natural beauty Jeju has to offer. After the waterfall, we walked towards the coast and across a bridge that takes you to a small nature reserve. The view out to sea and of the volcanic rock coastline was breathtaking.

That afternoon, we walked around the town and explored the local market, as well as stocked up on some Korean skincare goods at Olive Young. I wasn’t aware of this store, but my friends were well versed and introduced me to all the must-haves. They have literally anything you could think of, and I was overwhelmed with the selection. I stuck to what I knew and got a bunch of face masks calm and hydrate my skin.

Later that night, we went to a boiled pork restaurant run by a family friend of our host. She had a very outgoing personality, which it seems like a lot of people in Jeju had, and she even spoke some Japanese. She colorfully explained to us the best way to eat the boiled pork, and it was definitely a unique experience. Although I liked it, some of the cuts of pork were very fatty, and still had a thick layer of gelatinous skin on it which I wasn’t a huge fan of.

After dinner, we stopped by an adorable café that turns into a wine bar at night. While my friends bonded with the owner over wine, I indulged in some blackberry cheesecake and local herbal tea which was delicious. I started to get tired and headed back to the apartment early, doing one of my face masks before heading to bed.

The next day was kind of rainy and gray in the morning so we had a bit of a lazy start before heading to lunch which was chilled noodles and BBQ pork. (So much meat!) Although there were only six of us, we probably ordered enough to feed 10 and ate almost everything. Since we rented two cars and had a lot of different options of activities, after lunch we decided to split up and do the activity that we found more interesting. Me and two others decided to go to Yakcheonsa Temple, a Buddhist temple about 20min drive away.

Anytime I visit somewhere new, I love to visit spiritual places, no matter what kind of philosophy they might be apart of. Korea being a majority Christian country, there were churches everywhere, but I was excited to find a Buddhist temple which is more my vibe. Compared to a lot of Buddhist temples in Japan, this one was relatively new, and very colorful both on the exterior and interior.

Japanese temples tend to me more austere and understated, focusing on the materials and the craftsmanship of the building, while this temple was ornately painted in vibrant colors all over the place. Still, you could see the mutual influences Korea, China, and Japan had on each other by the fundamental design principles employed in the architecture, and it was beautiful in it’s own way. We explored the multiple levels, looking at the frescoes that illustrated the life of the temple’s founder, and wandered through the surrounding gardens before moving onto our next stop.

Not too far away from the temple, there’s a lookout point on the coast that’s on a pebble beach surrounded by volcanic rock formations. By this time the sun had come out, and we ventured along the beach to explore. The beach being entirely rocks and pebbles, it was really hard to walk and maintain balance, and you could easily sprain an ankle if you’re not careful. It was windy, but there was something about the coast that felt magical. I think because volanic rock comes from deep inside the earth, they must hold a lot of power, and that power is palpable in Jeju.

Later in the afternoon, we reunited with our friends at the Bonte Museum which houses both historical Korean art and artifacts as well as more contemporary international artists like Yayoi Kusama. I finally got to see one of her famous installations, The Infinity Room, and was mesmerized by the infiniate lights and mirrors. It really makes you feel like you’re floating out in space, and it allowed me a little moment of reflection, and how art can make us experience things that can’t be explained in words.

While wandering through the rest of the exhibits, we stumbled upon an installation piece that really moved me. It was an immersive experience that took up an entire room, and there was a sculpture of a lone tree that had projection mapping and sound that brought it to life. It illustrated the cycle of life from birth, to growth and maturation, juxtaposed with images and videos from the artist’s life, and ultimately ended in the death of the tree and something that resonated with me as ascension into a higher dimension. It really showed the fleeting nature of like and how ephemeral time is, and it really made me grateful for my own life and experiences, and made me appreciate the present moment.

The next day was rainy and gray, so one friend and I decided to book massages on the other side of the island. It was a bit of a drive, but it was nice to see the lush landscape throughout different parts of the island. The spa itself was near the coast and had a nice view overlooking the water. The massage itself was great, and I felt so relaxed. On the way back home, we stopped by an outlet mall and I got some new yoga wear and gifts for my baby nephew.

Another reason for this trip was to go to a beauty clinic and get some treatments done. Korea is well known, especially in Japan, for having the best (and very affordable) beauty treatments in Asia. After another delicious local lunch, we headed off to our afternoon at the clinic. I got botox, which I’ve done many times before, as well as a fat-dissolving injection under my chin, and a skin booster that contains salmon DNA that is supposed to induce collagen production and improve your skin’s appearance. It was the most painful experience of my life, but the results were worth it.

Since Jeju is well known for it’s nature, I really wanted to do more nature activities and visit some well known natural spots, but because of weather and the other activities that we prioritized, the last day was the only time we had. Luckily, there was a well known nature trail very close to where we were staying, and it did not disappoint. Two of us took a taxi out to one of the furthest points along the trail, and started back towards the town on the trail. Almost immediately we were greeted with sweeping views of the coastline and volcanic cliffs surrounded by lush nature. The trail itself wasn’t too challenging and was the perfect dose of fresh sea air. It’s times like this that I truly feel grateful to be alive and to be where I am, and I know I will be back to experience more.

Watch my trip:

See how I packed for my trip:

Kei Furuichi 11/14/24 Kei Furuichi 11/14/24

Recognizing growth & celebrating small wins

Something really occurred to me recently that I felt I really had to recognize and celebrate. Since I first embarked on my spiritual journey more than 7 years ago, there have been many ups and downs in my internal and external life. There were times where I felt I made a lot of progress and things were going well, and then there would be some setback that would make me feel like I was regressing to a place where I thought I had graduated from. But overall, there was progress. I would take two or three steps forward, and then maybe one step back. But in those times that I was taking a step back, it was so easy to beat myself up, get weighed down by whatever was bothering me, and lose sight of the progress I was making.

My spiritual journey began from a place of true pain and suffering. I was engaging in unhealthy behaviors to cope with what I was feeling, or to completely avoid what I was feeling, and it got to a point where I knew I had to make a change if I was going to survive. Since then, it’s been a continuous ebb and flow of progress and regression, but ultimately in the direction of positive change. As I continually cut out toxic behaviors and break negative thought patterns that are holding me back, it feels like I’m unlocking new levels in the video game of life. But each level came with new challenges that were ultimately about me confronting myself, my beliefs, my thoughts, and my emotions.

In those times that I let the negative thoughts and feelings get the better of me, sometimes I would be helpless. I could easily stay in bed all day, or lie on the sofa for hours binge watching TV, ignoring other responsibilities because they just felt like too much to handle. I would wake up with a tight feeling in my chest, anxious before I even fully woke up, and the entire stretch of the day in front of me just felt like too much to bear. Especially in my current life situation where I don’t have a regular office job and a lot of what I do is dependent on me taking initiative and doing things myself, it was all to easy to shirk the commitments I had made to myself and just zone out.

But this could easily become a negative feedback loop. I would feel anxious because there’s so much I could do, but the possibilities and potential would feel overwhelming, and my mind would go to a place where I was paralyzed to make a decision to do anything, so instead I would do nothing. But the fact that I was doing nothing made me feel like I was wasting precious time, that I was squandering an opportunity, and the fact that I’m not making any real progress on a professional front is because I just don’t have what it takes. I’m not smart enough. I’m not creative enough. I don’t have good ideas, and I can’t execute the ones I have.

But none of this is true. These are self-sabotaging lies that my mind was telling itself, and I knew it was my job to continually question these thoughts and beliefs, witness them without identifying with them, and ultimately letting them pass through. With this and other tactics that I have honed in my self-care arsenal like meditation and journaling, I gradually was able to deal with these thoughts in a more positive way where I would acknowledge, but not identify, with them, and then let them go.

And over time, I began to notice the positive changes. I recently had one of those mornings where I woke up with that anxiety, and the old self-limiting thoughts started to creep back in, but with the practices that I had been developing and putting to use, I was able to pull myself back off that ledge, and move on with my day. And when we have those moments of recognition like, “wow, hey I’ve really changed,” it’s so important to take a moment to pause and celebrate that. Even just a few months ago, waking up in one of those states would have led me to a decision that would have derailed my entire day. But not anymore.

Now, I’m able to use what I’ve learned, honor my past self for doing the hard work that has gotten me here, and continue to welcome the lessons that life has to offer in reaching my true potential. It’s important not to judge my past self for how he reacted. He did was he could in the moment with what he had available to him, and he survived so that I could thrive. And this doesn’t mean that I won’t have those dark days sometime in the future. And that’s okay. Like any real meaningful progress, it’s measured in small increments, small wins. But really recognize and celebrate when you have those small wins. You’re worth it.